Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy
Biographical information

Earth Planet

Date of birth


Physical description
Alternate Mode

Black (with Pepsi logos) Freightliner FL86 Cabover Semi



Sensor color

Dead Black

Personal information



Arbitrary Autobots, Munkys


Black Repaint

Chronological and political information

Bored Fish era



"Destroy life… to the MAX!"
— Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy

Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is the most powerful of the Customercons while, ironically, not actually being one. He was created by accident when Franklin Delenor Roosevelt Minicon III, earl of ToeJaAm used the Deus Ex Machine on Fishimus Prime. At the time, Fishimus had overloaded on Warm Flat Black Fuzzy, which resulted in the creation of an evil, soft drink-fueled clone.

Just as Fishimus Prime is a force for good and brightly coloured shirts, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is a force for evil, meaness, bland colour schemes and soft drinks. To his flat black eyes, the world is too bright and must be destroyed, replaced with a new one where only black, white and some shades of grey are permitted to exist. All other colours are too neon.

Ruthless in pursuit of his goals, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is a creature of malice and rage. He lives to battle and revels in destruction, enjoying the thrill of battle and crushing his foes underfoot. He gives no quarter and fears no man or bot. His degree of ruthlessness and power is such that he even gave Napoletron pause, and stands as the only being to ever give the Emperor of Destrucity sass and live to tell the tale.

In fact, he’d probably be the most powerful Transformer ever (or, at least, in this continuity) if not for his one crippling weakness. He can only speak in clipped soft drink advertising slogans.

Being an evil clone, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy styles himself as being Fishimus Prime's arch-nemesis. This rivalry is somewhat one-sided, as Fishimus Prime is somewhat ambivalent about the idea of having an arch-nemesis. Maybe if Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy sent minions after him once every six to eight hours so that they could drop a random clue as to his latest scheme, he'd be more okay with it. Furthermore, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy's ability to communicate this desire is hampered by his lack of language skills.


Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is superlatively, hyperbolically powerful. And evil. He’s so evil, he hoses down his enemies with a giant bottle of soft drink. Wow. That is evil.


Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy was created midway into the Customercon invasion of Earth, largely by accident. Having blown their initial attempt at a covert infiltration thanks to a pair of morons getting into trouble, the Customercons were now forced to operate more openly. As a part of their stepping up of operations, they took one of their most powerful relics, the Deus Ex Machine, out of storage (And by that they meant an old esky in the garage) and put it into action.

After their latest defeat was caused by a lack of transport (And by that, it actually was a fleet of Van Dudes sinking into the swamp), Franklin Delenor Roosevelt Minicon III, Earl of ToeJaAm, was given the task of building a highway from the Customercon ship to their next target. Rather than get a team of Mixor types to build it, he decided that it would be easier to use the Deus Ex Machine to do such. Naturally, this attracted the attention of the Arbitrary Autobots, who attacked the site in order to stop them.

During the ensuing battle, the Deus Ex Machine went off, hitting both Fishimus Prime and a passing truck. The truck was transformed into a Customercon, infused with both Fishimus’ DNA as well as an overabundance of Warm Black Fuzzy. Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy was born! Despite having only existed for a few seconds, it immediately decided that it was an evil clone and had to destroy Fishimus for reasons. And while it was defeated, the newly arrived soft drink mascot joined the Customercons.

Impressed by this new agent of destrucity, the enigmatic overlord of the Customercons immediately promoted him to colourful henchman, and gave him the authority to form his own team. With this mandate, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy put together Team Maximum Flavour, composed of the best Customercons he could find. And by that, he meant whichever ones were convenient at the time.

Behind the Scenes

  • I fully expect TomyTakara to release this as a limited edition any day now. Really.

No, srlsy.

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