Biographical information


Physical description
Alternate Mode

Neon green dune buggy



Sensor color

Dead grey

Personal information

Other Customercons


Arbitrary Autobots, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy



Chronological and political information

Bored Fish era



"I calculate a 73.19% chance that I will insert a random and pointless statistic into this sentence"

Obsessed with pointless statistics, Calcule is the Customercons' combat accountant, whatever the Hfil that is. Far smarter then the average Customercon (A loaded statement in and of itself), Calcule has an amazing grasp of numbers and a skill to rapidly absorb and disseminate information. This allows him to produce an endless stream of pointless statistics on demand.

For example, Calcule would be able to examine the comparative hit rates against the broadside of a barn of sample Fuzzbox, Larry and Killken body-types. He could then construct an algorithm that would produce a visualization to explain the results. From there, he could recommend the optimal use of Customercons for any future efforts at barn destruction.

Calcule occupies a high-ranking position within the Customercon ranks, even though nobody has been able to figure out what it is he actually does. He reports mainly to their shadowy enigmatic overlord, usually in the form of overly elaborate presentations with animated slides and everything. This presumably means something, but what is still to be determined. Calcule also has the privilege of leading teams of lesser Customercons, although they seem to rarely follow his orders or, for that matter, even understand what he is saying.

Calcule's arch enemy is Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy, who calls him a nerd a lot. Well, he shouts offensive-sounding soft drink slogans at Calcule, and those could be construed as accusations of nerdity.


Calcule is a rare Bonglio body type, one that is used by only 2.347% of all Customercons (According to his own calculations). While posessed of only average strength, speed and agility, Calcule is very intelligent (by Customercon standards) and can disperse useless statistics on demand. His alt-made is a lime green dune buggy that possesses excellent off-road capabilities and rarely catches on fire. This latter trait is surprisingly rare amongst Customercons.

In robot mode, he is armed with a Stoatblaster. Whether this weapon a) destroys stoats or b) launchers stoats is unclear. It might not have anything to do with Stoats at all. Who knows? Statistically speaking, the correlation between the names of Transformer weapons and their function is low, with only 21.45% of such actually functioning as their name suggests. Thus it is unlikely that the Stoatblaster has anything to do with Stoats at all.

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