The Customercon Department of Digging Up Nonsense Ancient Relics is a vital agency in charge of all Customercon archaeological operations. It is headed up by Bughunt, their greatest (and being honest, only) archaeologist.

Digging up nonsense relics and using them as doomsday devices is a vital part of Decepticon planning and strategy. In order to expedite the process, the Customercons formed an agency specifically charged with this function. Their goals are simple; locate and recover ancient McGuffins and then find some way of using them against the Arbitrary Autobots. However, for that simple mission statement, the process is obviously a lot more involved and complicated.

This complexity is not aided at all by the Customercons being, well, themselves. To begin with, the Customercons actually have very little idea of their own history or where they came from. As such, they often have no idea where to start. Instead, they usually blindly leap at half-arsed hints and suggestions or follow through on only the most loose and poorly-defined objectives. In many cases, the Customercons have dedicated countless Bot-Cycles of work towards pursuing objects that do not exist.

The other problem is that it is staffed entirely by Customercons, who are just as incompetent in the field of archaeology as they are at anything else. As such, any ‘discoveries’ that they make could just as easily be completely worthless. Or, alternatively, they could uncover a device and fail to understand its true function, such what happened with the Void Annihilator (Which the Customercons believed to be a terrifying weapon capable of annihilating planets but actually turned out to be a waffle iron). Or it could just be a rock. This happens a lot.

Consequently, the Department’s success rate is actually rather low. To date, the single most powerful weapon in the Customercons’ arsenal, the Deus Ex Machine, does not come from their efforts but rather was given to them by their enigmatic shadowy overlord. (And nobody knows where they got it form because they’re just so shadowy and enigmatic).

The secondary duty of the department is to uncover the history of the Customercon race in order to find out where exactly they came from, why they live on Hfil, what happened to the planet’s previous inhabitants and, most importantly, how all of this can be used to discover more nonsense doomsday weapons.

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