Astrographical information

2 (Heck, Bob)

Rotation period

33 Hours

Orbital period

667 Days

Physical description



Helluva Hot

Primary terrain
  • Molten lava
  • Dramatic jagged rocks
  • Pits
Surface water

You wish

Societal information


Major cities
  • The Ghetto
  • Several abandoned cities
Major imports


Major exports




Hfil is the homeworld of the Customercons. A ruined and overly dramatic planet, much of its surface is made up of jagged rocky peaks and massive oceans of molten lava, as well as pits descending to the depths of the world. Massive cities cling to the rocky spires, apparently abandoned and decaying. While the atmosphere is breathable, it is filled with fumes and smoke.

At some point in its past, Hfil was inhabited by a race of humanoids of conveniently human size. However, it suffered some great catastrophe that killed off the local population. After that, the Customercons arrived and made the world their new home. The two may not be unrelated.

Rather then set up their base of operations in one of the world’s abandoned cities, the Customercons instead chose to settle in the planet’s deepest pits, living a precarious existence near the molten lava and running the constant risk of being wiped out by a freak collapse or eruption. Why they did this is unclear, but it explains a lot about their thought process.

From the pits of Hifl, new Customercon Protoforms are spawned, created from the stuff of the planet itself and imbued with newly-created Sparks. How this process works is unclear, as the Customercons themselves don’t seem to know. From these pits, the protoforms are sent out across the cosmos to wreak havoc and ask inane questions.

Besides creating new Customercons, the planet's only other singificant industry is constructing ships for them to use. The Hfil Shipayerds use automated technologies that are supervised by the Customercons themselves, with the resulting ships having the degree of quality that one would expect from a process run by near-mindless drones. They crash and burn. A lot.

The planet is ruled by a single shadowy enigmatic sinister figure who watches over the Customercons from the tallest tower in the largest ruined city.

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